Still here...not kidnapped

Hey Everyone,

Sorry it´s been so long since I´ve written. School has been really hectic lately. Last week, we had math assessments every day. The kids thought they were a pain, but they have no idea what it´s like to correct 18 pages X 25 kids. That took a while. Overall, they did really well though, so I´m happy about that.

Last Friday night, we had what is referred to as an ¨Integration Party¨ at the school. Most teachers opt for a weekend day, maybe a BBQ or a get together at a farm, but no, not me. When I asked the kids what they wanted to do, they said, ¨Camping!¨ Originally, I thought no way, but then after a while, and seeing how much they wanted this, I gave in. I guess the Boy Scout buried in me came out. Luckily, a kid in my class whose dad works at the school volunteered to help out. He teaches Kindergarten, and does a campout with his kids every year. Plus, he is a real outdoorsy person, so I knew with his help, we could pull it off.

So, after school last Friday, he and I got together to make a scavenger hunt around the school that the kids and their parents would compete in, which was very similar to ¨The Amazing Race.¨ The parents showed up at about 5PM and the kids and I played basketball, soccer, etc. You should have seen these parents show up to the campout wearing Gucci and Armani gear, and completely clueless about the whole concept of camping, how to set up a tent, etc. It was hilarious. For most of them, they had never done anything like it. As it got later, some of the parents started bitching about how cold it was, how it might rain, and how they wanted to camp out in the gymnasium. One dad gets all fired up and tells me that I need to go tell everyone that we´re camping out on the softball field and that´s that and that if these parents thought they were going to camp out in the middle of ´winter´ (ha) and that it wasn´t going to be cold, they were kidding themselves. So I gathered everyone up and told them the drill. They went along with it, although most of them talked to each other throughout my speech with no regard to the concept of being polite and listening. What was I going to do?

We head up to the ball field and start setting up tents, which was about a 2 or 3 hour ordeal. Finally, we begin the BBQ, which was great..tons of food. At about 9PM, we start the scavenger hunt, and a few of the parents charged out ahead of everyone else, completely leaving the kids behind. That answered my question regarding why the Colombian kids are so insanely competitive. About 45 minutes later, there are about 2 or 3 groups looking for the last clue, which I have in my possession. I asked them if they were looking for the last clue, and when they said they were, I told them it might be closer than they think. This guy comes charging at me to get it, and when I told him he won, he grabs me in a bear hug and starts jumping around. That was the beginning of WWIII. All the other families start having an absolute shit fit, telling me that they were cheating and it wasn´t fair that they won. It was ridiculous.

From there, we set up a bonfire for the kids to roast marshmallows and make smores, but most of the kids were hellbent on roasting their marshmallows to a disgusting crisp. I though about telling them about the risks of cancer and carcinogens, but decided to let it go.

After that, we went out at about 11PM to take a walk through the forest because the kids were still absolutely CRAZY with energy. I had downloaded a really cool story earlier off the internet called, `Buffalo Woman` which I was determined to tell that night. I rehearsed it to myself about 2 or 3 times throughout the day. When I used to go to Science Camp, the naturalists would always take the kids out on a night hike and tell really cool stories, and I was always really envious. I had always wanted to be able to do that, so when we got to the end of our hike, a cliff overlooking the entire city with lights and all, I told them to take a seat and began my story. The kids thought it was going to be really scary because I paused so often for dramatic effect, so on one particularly long pause, I let out this horrifying scream that scared the bejesus out of both parents and kids. It was hilarious, and I could not resist. So I continued the rest of my story, about 15 minutes in all, flawlessly, and was quite proud of myself. I nailed it. All the parents were complimenting me, and it felt great. The story was basically about a woman who meets an Indian warrior, marries him, and then tells him about how she is really a buffalo. When they go to see her family, they lay down and roll over twice and turn into buffalo. I won`t go into details, because you can easily do a Google search and find it if you ever get REALLY bored, but when it was over and we were walking back, a couple of kids asked me if it was a true story and I tell them that it absolutely was. Poor, gullible, kids.

The next morning, we get up and eat breakfast and then get into the most competitive game of kickball you have ever seen. We played for almost 2 hours, and they never got sick of it. Later, we got out the hose and I showed off my sadistic side by relentlessly spraying kids in the face and completely drenching them. I, of course, got a little wet myself. It was quite fun.

Anyway, now all the other teachers are pissed at me because all of the other 4th Graders are asking why they can`t have a campout like Mr. Ben`s class. I keep telling them to bug their teachers until they give in. They hate me, and I love every minute of it.

I was going to wait until I had some pictures to make this post, but I should get them sometime this week. I will put them up ASAP.

Tonight, there is a staff party, called ``Witch`s Brew``, which should be a good time. It is in a part of town called Envigado, which is a little different than Poblado. It is a little more down to Earth. However, it is a neighborhood where the Gringos stick out that much more. Last time I went, I felt like Shaquille O`Neil, minus the blackness. The people stared at me like I was on fire. I kind of liked it. What can I say, I`m a whore for attention.

I hope everyone`s doing well. I miss you guys. Talk to you later.

Ben