THIS is why I have a blog...

Where do I even begin? Last night, was absolutely, without a doubt, one of the most incredibly entertaining nights of my life. This folks, is what we've all been waiting for...

So, the evening begins at our boss's house, an absolutely incredible 5 bedroom, 5 bath palace set high up in the Andes. She has the most INCREDIBLE array of food and drinks I've ever been blessed with. I'm talking serious GRUB. It was out of control. I ate and drank like an absolute fool. Then, somebody gets the incredibly intelligent idea to go out to a bar called Mangos. Here's the pitch: "Ben, do you want to go to Mangos? It's a dance club with women and midgets who dance on the bar." 'nuff said.

However, before we go, a teacher says that he wants to meet up with a friend who's in from out of town. I want to go home and shower, but it's a DAMN good thing I didn't, or I would have missed one of the most indescribable events of my life. We start driving up the hill and end up at this massive apartment where his friend is staying with another friend. We're told that it's on the 19th floor, which means we're going to have an incredible view. Did I say incredible? No, make that completely unbelievable. We go up to the most exquisite apartment I've ever seen in my life. This dude greets us at the door, and immediately I'm thinking "Scarface." You should have seen him. He's got the most amazing two story penthouse I could ever imagine. Drug lord, you're thinking? Most likely correct, but I didn't want to ask. Supposedly, he owns several insurance companies. Money laundering, you might say. Probably yes. I don't care though. I'm having a blast. He's got a "girlfriend" (but we're told by an inside source he may be gay) named "Lady" who is walking around the whole time serving us Jameson whisky. Out of control. We stay there for about an hour or so, then head out to Parque Lleras (the hotspot) for sushi and martinis. You wouldn't believe the prices.

So, I'm not going to bore you with details about the ridiculously cheap food and drink, let's cut to the the chase. Mangos is a gigantic wild west themed dance club. Latin American dance clubs, as Kevin and Myra could attest, are insane. We walk in and immediately see 3 midgets on top of the bar dancing. Music is absolutely blaring. There are bands, strobe lights, you name it. It's insanely loud and absolutely wild in there. We find the "insurance guy" who has a table and a bottle of whisky ( I don't even like whiskey) ready and waiting for us. He introduces us to 2 or 3 gorgeous ladies who are kind enough to show me some dance moves. So, we dance and drink, and wander around. I finally find a girl who is stunning (at least I'm pretty sure she was) and I start making my move. We're dancing, things are going great. She doesn't have a boyfriend, seems interested enough, and most importantly, says I'm not annoying her. I'm thinking the deal was sealed...until she says she has to go to the bathroom. So, I'm sitting there waiting for her to come back...5 minutes...10 minutes, finally everyone tells me to give it up. I'm totally but-hurt, for lack of a better expression. I was so sad. I don't put myself out there very often, so when I get REJECTED, I feel serious pain. Everyone kept consoling me and telling me that there'd be more, but hey, at least I tried.

Doesn't matter though, I'm in love with another primary teacher....